Script C · :90 · Translation Cut

Plain Language / NFL Pension

Aaron's beat sheet, built out. Fastest cut of the three: the record scratch, the jargon wall, then a rapid-fire translation gag where every term gets a one-line "real talk" subtitle. The frames stay deadpan and locked-off; all the energy comes from the edit — cuts, type, and the sting. Compare: Script A · Script B.

0:00–0:05

The Promise

Int. Kitchen · clean table lookWarm · reassuring
Beat 1 — the promise
Beat 1 · Smiling narrator, clean kitchen-table look, hand on the booklet.

Smiling NARRATOR at the kitchen table, holds the booklet like a gameshow prize.

Narrator
"Your NFL pension. Written in plain language."
0:05–0:12

The Record Scratch

Whip-pan · type wall (AE)Comedic sting
Beat 2 — upside down
Beat 2 · The squint. The page turn. The page is upside down.

He opens it — record scratch. Whip-pan to a wall of legalese, terms flying in as type: "PENSION EXPANSION PLAYER" · "LEGACY FLOOR" · "SSA OFFSET." MARCUS squints. Turns the page. The page is upside down. He keeps it there.

The jargon wall is a motion-graphics type build in AE over a defocused plate — nothing to generate.

0:12–0:55

The Translation Gag

Rapid cuts · one term, one subtitleUpbeat · snappy

Rapid cuts. Each jargon term smashes on screen, then gets its "real talk" subtitle. Four rounds, ~10 seconds each:

Real talk — vested
Round 1 · The index card does the talking.
"Vesting Service"
Real talk
Vested = 3 seasons. That's it. You're in.
Real talk — credited season
Round 2 · Him vs. the booklet, round two.
"Credited Season"
Real talk
Credited Season = you suited up for 3 games.
Real talk — age 55
Round 3 · Finding out over the phone. Nodding.
"Normal Retirement Date"
Real talk
Age 55, you get paid. Before-1993 guys? 45.
Real talk — survivors
Round 4 · The family portrait, quietly proud.
"Survivor Benefits"
Real talk
Die early? Your family's still covered.
0:55–1:20

The Myth-Buster

He gets it nowConfident
Beat 4 — the nod
Beat 4 · Booklet closed. Arms crossed. One slow nod.

MARCUS, now nodding. He gets it. Quick myth-buster punchlines on the silliest-sounding terms — he delivers these to camera, flat:

The Legacy Floor?
"Nah, nobody's sleeping on the floor. It's your minimum check."
The Whole Person Evaluation?
"Not a weigh-in. It's the disability review."
Pension Expansion Player?
"Not a gym goal. It's a benefits category. I checked."
Myth-buster cutaway — rug
Cutaway on "nobody's sleeping on the floor" · flashback to him checking anyway.
1:20–1:30

The Button

End cardConfident close
You earned it on the field.
Don't leave it there.
800.638.3186 · nflplayerbenefits.com
How this sits against A and B. Same cast, same house, same muted grade — the performances never mug. Script C gets its comedy from edit velocity (record scratch, whip-pan, smash-cut type) instead of held stillness, so it will read the most "commercial" of the three. The one place it touches new casting is Round 4: the survivor-benefits beat adds a wife and daughter on the sofa, played as a formal, quietly proud family portrait rather than anything mournful. All three scripts can cut from one generation pass.